Frustrations!

Okay so I made this so I could get things off my chest and have a place to vent. I've been feeling really frustrated with life lately. It seems I always find jobs where I think I'm valued and then I come to learn that I'm just another expendable body. I have an IQ that hovers around 140 but I get treated like I'm running on half of that. I feel that I have a lot to offer, a lot of good ideas, that I'm a valuable edition to any workforce because of these things but I'm never appreciated.

I realize that this is largely due to the type of work I've fallen into. Working in a dog kennel isn't mind-expanding but that doesn't mean that all of us who choose to do this due to our love of animals are simpletons, incapable of doing anything else.

I really loved my time working in dog daycare, I was in that job for about 6 months. I felt like my presence was appreciated. I'm sure finding good help for those types of jobs is difficult. I was always on time, offered to work late, tried to implement better ways of handling issues, never complained. When it became obvious that things were just not being run right myself and a couple other employees went to the manager and voiced our concerns only to be told that plenty of other people would love our jobs and that we could be replaced. Is that the way a manager should act when employees are concerned for the way things are being handled including the welfare of the dogs under our care? I don't think so.

So I went back to work at a kennel I'd been at before. I shared my findings at the previous place, things I thought were more efficient that my new employer may want to look into. I recieved praise and thought I'd finally found my niche, my place. I even thanked him for appreciating me. Shortly thereafter though my schedule started getting screwed up, I started to feel taken for granted over a lot of things and for the first time in 10 months of working there I have to call in sick to see a doctor for a terrible sinus infection I get chewed out, told that I'm immature, called a liar.... out of nowhere mostly because, most likely, my boss was frustrated and needed a punching bag. So, being on time, dealing with schedule snafus, offering advice.... all of this meant nothing because I dared call in sick.

Last time I checked I was 31 years old and a responsible adult.... not a teenager who lies in order to have an extra day off. Seriously... I wanted the money and I liked the person I would have been working with that day. I wouldn't have left him high and dry if there was any way I could have made it through the day. Of course nothing I could have said made any difference. I was threatened with the loss of my job so I decided to just never go back. Truly I can't work for someone who would consider firing one of their top employees because they got sick.

I would really just love to get involved in something where I could use my mind, be valued, be seen for what I really am. Responsible, dedicated, intelligent, loyal to my company. I'd love to continue to work with animals but I don't know what to do in this field where I'm not talked to like a child. I allowed my social anxiety to rob me of a lot of opportunities. I never made it to college out of fear. Now that I'm emerging from the fog of that fear I find myself trapped in this dead end and I'm unsure of how to escape.

Fallout 3

Okay so I'm partially into a 4th playthrough of Dragon Age but I'm a little burnt so I decided to take a break from that and try out Fallout 3! So far it's pretty cool, I get a little annoyed with the combat at times but it may be that I'm wimpy/have crappy weapons... lol. It's so very open-ended as Bethesda games tend to be, so it's a little hard for me to decided where to go or tell where I should be for my level. I like a little more structure but it is fun and I'm sure I'll get used to it. It is pretty neat that you start out the game at the actual birth of your character and partially participate in your own growing up.

Now if I could only stop hitting the spacebar to try and pause the game and stop hitting tab to see usable items it'll all be good! hehe

Playthrough #3 of Dragon Age Completed!

Just finished this game again last night! Working on getting all available achievements. One thing I really like now that I've played as a warrior, rogue and mage is that all of these characters can hold their own. In a lot of games rogues and especially mages can be ultra-squishy but even as a mage I could go toe to toe with fighter-type characters and come out on top! This game has terrific character balance.

I love you Bioware!

The Joys of Soy

Okay so as you all may know my mom and I have a candle business and we use only soy wax. I thought I'd post a little info about why soy candles are superior!


Soy!! It’s everywhere these days but what’s so great about it? I’m sure you’ve heard about the health benefits that adding soy to your diet can bring but did you know that soy is being used in candles? Soy candles are rapidly gaining in popularity due to the fact that they burn much cleaner than paraffin candles and therefore do not cause the respiratory problems in some people that paraffin candles can.

Interested in the Green movement for a better planet? Soy wax is made from soybeans grown right here in the USA and is the second largest grain crop we produce. As a renewable resource, the widening use of soybeans contributes to our society’s move away from fossil fuels and towards the reduction in greenhouse gases. Paraffin, on the other hand is a by product of petroleum. When crude oil is “mined” the paraffin is refined out as undesirable. After the refining process it is sold off to companies that use paraffin wax. The carbon in the paraffin is what leads to all that nasty black soot that you’ll see not only on your candle jars but also on the walls of your home. With soy you will have much less soot production and therefore much better air quality.

Soy candles not only burn cleaner than paraffin, they burn longer. 50% longer in fact! Soy burns slower and at a cooler temperature than paraffin creating a longer lasting product. This also aids in scent distribution which is why soy candles usually smell stronger than paraffin. The fact that it burns cooler also makes it safer for children and pets. I’m not suggesting pouring hot soy wax on yourself but in the event of an accident the consequences are less dire. Plus if you do spill liquid soy wax it cleans up easily with soap and water. Just try that with paraffin! Are you an animal lover or Vegan? Soy candles are also safe for you since soy wax is made exclusively from soybeans, no animal products are used.

So making the switch from paraffin to soy is a small step towards cleaner, healthier air in your home and a happier planet Earth!

As an Ex-WoW girl...

So as any of you who know me should know my husband and I used to play a lot of World of Warcraft and it was quite entertaining for a long time.

I find that the experience of MMO gaming is unique for women and not just because of the idiots who want to know what you are wearing and want you to go cyb0rz with them...lol. You definitely get treated differently when people find out you are female. I've had people accuse me of being some fat, lazy girl that must be ugly to sit at home at a computer. Come to think of it unless they were hitting on me I came up against a lot of derogatory remarks. Sad isn't it?

When will the world wake up and realize that we play games because it's enjoyable not because we are losers who can't show our faces in the real world? Gaming can actually increase your ability to think quickly, hand-eye coordination, and problem solving!

I did meet quite a few awesome people on WoW though and made some long-lasting friendships. Let's hope we all meet up in Star Wars: The Old Republic!!

Dragon Age: Origins!!

Okay so my current game is Dragon Age: Origins. I have been playing it since the day it came out, had it pre-ordered for months. It's awesome. This is what RPG's should be like! I have finished 2 complete playthroughs already including all the available downloadable content. It took me around 70 hours first time through and about 55 hours the second go. I'm about halfway through it a third time.

The story is engrossing and well written. You come across mnay choices throughout the game that can seriously affect what happens later on including romances. I have always loved romances in games and Bioware is great about including those options.

Now the question becomes do I play it again after I finish this time or answer the call of Fallout 3 as it sits over there on my desk... hmmm...

Beginner Blogger

Okay so this is my first ever blog post. I feel a little silly, I always made fun of these things but hey maybe it will help me to cope with life, let go of anger. It can be my outlet to share whatever I feel like sharing. :)